August 4th, 2015 - 

D23 is happening next week and they’ll start to announce upcoming plans for the Disney parks, which is totally exciting to me, because I love the parks. Love love love.

A lot of things have been closing in Hollywood Studios this year and it seems like that could bring some excitement as new things are announced to open. I’d love to see a fully-transformed Hollywood Studios (or whatever its new name is!) in my lifetime. I’ve been reading about a possible name change for that park and hopes for more Star Wars. But I also keep reading about Avatar Land, at Animal Kingdom, which is already in development. And — yuck. Really? I just feel so bummed out about this I try not to think about it at all.

First of all, I love Animal Kingdom. It’s got a great vibe and so much going on. I had so much more fun than expected there. You can drink, the boat ride rules, it’s pretty, I LOVED the dinosaur ride and the yeti ride ruled too! Plus the tree is so pretty and the safari is fun. I just think Avatar Land is a tacky addition to what is a pretty cool and successful concept.

I guess the through line between Avatar and Animal Kingdom is resource conservation but I just still fail to see the appeal of walking into Pandora.

My expectations for Avatar Land are very low. On the surface, it sounds totally stupid and I’m hesitant to like it at all. The movie was fine, and the world they built was magical and pretty, but it just seems so dated and un-fun already. Also bummed it’s taking the “mythical and legendary creature” spot in that park, which I think opened the door for a lot more creativity than one pre-made fantasy (even though there didn’t seem to be any production on that vague concept at all…the very idea had potential, right?).

I just don’t expect to be thrilled to enter the world of Avatar, like I am with Harry Potter, the Simpsons, or Star Wars. Pandora is a place I have spent literally zero time thinking about, and it’s riding on the strength of ONE movie so far. The fandom for Avatar isn’t very visible (to me, at least) and I’m just totally confused by the decision to cater to this movie. The only person I’ve ever heard say that Avatar was their favorite movie was the “evil” entrepreneur behind Kingdom of the Little People in the Vice documentary Dwarves Kingdom. Cool demographic, bro.

I can’t even tell you how disappointing it’s going to be to see a Na’vi character greeting. Just this huge blue person, huh? It just totally bums me out for some reason!!

Maybe because it’s not something beloved from my childhood, or anyone’s childhood, to my knowledge. And it would have ruled to see a Pete’s Dragon meet and greet or a Fantasia ride. Mermaids? Hello. Would you like to make a million dollars? MERMAIDS. CENTAURS. CRAZY EVIL BEASTS. BOOM.

Could keep ranting. Should stop now!